Hey it’s me again. After the overwhelming success of my last post (finally got a comment 6 days after posting), I’m going to grace you all with even more of my thoughts.

I was on the subway going to work on Saturday and was thinking about the internship and the change that’s happening in my life, and I suddenly got really happy about it. Extremely excited, and really happy. I’ve been a bit apprehensive because I feel like I’m being uprooted from my frameshop-and-small-shows-world that I’ve been building since August. I moved here and spent the past year making friends and building a comfortable and happy existence that was self-sufficient and enjoyable. It was slow growth but it was comfortable. And in the last couple months I finally felt like everything was where I wanted it to be. My friendships are growing well, I love the people I’m around, church is good, work is great. I finally had a routine. And now, all of a sudden, it’s all changing again.

But, though I’m still a little nervous, on the subway I realized how awesome that is. Comfort and routine is all well and good I suppose, but it doesn’t make you grow very much, it doesn't make you very alive. Now I get to start from scratch again, build up from the ground. New people and a new workplace with a huge learning curve staring me in the face. I can throw myself fully into this; I kind of visualize it as hurling my entire body against a wall to see what happens. And not in the sick and twisted way that that sounds, but in an excited and happy way. I get to really live and work my hardest. I’ve always loved challenges, and this is a big one. But it’s not as scary as it sounds: vestiges of the comfortable life I built are still definitely there. I now have a good support system up here, friends from small group, school, work, and theatre. I fully intend to rely heavily on them to get me through the internship.

It’s an opportunity to reinvent myself, to shake up my life again. I can drop the habits that I’ve formed as part of my routine more easily than I would if I stayed in it. I plan to start exercising again. I’m hoping to start running again, starting slow at small amounts twice a week and hopefully sticking with it and building up from there. Crunches will happen again, and pushups will continue. I hope to drink less coffee and less alcohol. That may be dreaming, but that’s the goal. J

I will have most of my evenings free now, so I’m going to work hard to schedule in my friends to make sure I keep my social life alive and therefore keep myself sane. I want to read more and remember how to enjoy the little things in life.

But best of all, this shakeup will make me depend more directly and immediately on God again. I’ll be a little closer to desperation on a daily basis, which is a good place to be when it comes to God. I’m looking forward to learning to rely on and trust Him more.